Thursday, April 5, 2012

Bad Poetry Day (#NaPoWriMo 5)

Today is Bad Poetry Day on Facebook, so I've been penning lots of purposefully terrible poems today. You know, opposed to the terrible poetry I write by accident.

Here some the horrid masterpieces for you to enjoy, then lose your lunch over, then enjoy again.

King Earl
There once was a man named Earl
Who aspired to rule the world.
He gained money and power,
But at his crowning hour,
He decided to do something else. Tennis probably. Earl really likes tennis.

Take a Hit 
What is my heart to you:
Just another bud to pack into your pipe
And smoke to ash?
Is my heart merely hash,
Something that gets you high,
Something to which it's easy to say goodbye?
You cherish your intoxicants and forsake my heart.
My heart is the weed you dropped on the floor,
The bud kicked under the couch
And torn to bits of brown leaf by your boots.

But I believe in a day when you will love my heart,
When you will invent
A Weed Vacuum,
One that locates your mistakes
And sucks up my discarded heart.
I will grow green again in your care,
When you find me beneath the sofa.
No longer longing to be smoked. 

D's Nuts
Oh, my decadent darling,
I am dripping with doubts about this dance we do,
This daring dance that dashes us from dim to dark
And deepens our desire.
How debauch are we, my dear,
And how utterly defenseless am I
When drawn into your delicious delirium.
Do not depart while I am drowning in your demeanor.
Deliver me to dark corners and demolish my apparel.
But before you do, stop your discourse and listen to my decree:

I want a pony.
No pony, no panty party.
Got it?
So, make with the pony,
On the double, darling.

Crusty Goodness
Don't be shy with your pie,
You cherry you.
Stay hot, stay warm,
But never tart, never flaky.
Allow me to devour you,
Not just a slice
But the whole pie,
Pan and all.
Indulge my appetite
And show me the goods.
Don't be shy,
And my love will never be half-baked.

Duck, Duck, Human
When needing a dodge,
Do you think ducks say "human"?
Nah, probably just "quack". 

1 comment:

  1. And here is an interesting quote for you: "The expression 'bad poetry' is meaningless: critics still use it, forgetting that bad poetry is not poetry at all." -Keith Douglas. :)